Teaching Generosity in a Me-First World
- Tyler Lavoie
- Jan 5
- 4 min read
If you look around long enough, it can feel like the world is shouting the same message at our kids.
“Get more.”
“Own more.”
“Be first.”
Ads, shows, and even playground talk often point in one direction.
Me. Mine. More.
But most parents I talk to feel something different in their gut.
They want kids who notice others.
Kids who share.
Kids who know that giving is normal, not rare.
The good news is this.
Generosity is not a personality trait you either have or you do not.
It is a habit you can build, one small choice at a time.
Why Generosity Matters More Than Ever
Generosity is not just about money.
It is about how your child sees the world.
When kids learn to give, they learn to:
Notice needs around them.
Feel empathy for others.
Believe that what they have can make a difference.
Those lessons become part of how they see themselves.
Not just as receivers.
But as helpers.
And that identity often lasts longer than any single gift they give.
Moving Beyond “Put a Coin in the Jar”
A lot of parents start and stop with
“Let’s put a coin in the charity jar.”
That is a good beginning.
But if kids never see where it goes or why it matters, it can start to feel like another rule instead of something joyful.
Generosity really clicks for kids when three things happen:
They help choose where the gift goes.
They understand who it helps.
They feel the impact in a simple, real way.
That is where the Heart concept comes to life.
Letting Kids Help Choose Causes
Kids are more invested when they have a say.
Even very young kids can help decide where their Heart crumbs go.
You might ask:
“Do you want to help animals, kids, or our community this time”
“Who do you think needs help right now”
Then give them two or three simple options.
Examples:
A local animal shelter.
A food pantry.
A family at church or in your neighborhood who could use a little extra.
Let your child help pick.
When they choose, their Heart jar becomes personal.
Teaching Kids to Notice Needs
You do not have to wait for a big charity event to talk about generosity.
You can build it into everyday life.
In the car, at the store, or on a walk, you might say:
“Did you notice anyone today who might need some help”
“Who do you think would feel happy if someone shared with them right now”
Sometimes kids will think of a sibling, a classmate, or someone who is lonely.
That is generosity too.
You are training their eyes to look outward, not just inward.
Once they see needs, they start to see opportunities.
Helping Them Feel the Impact
For generosity to stick, kids need to see that their giving did something.
If you give to a shelter or pantry, show a picture on the website.
If you drop off food, bring them with you.
If you help a person you know, let your child help write a note or draw a picture.
Afterward, talk about it.
“How do you think they felt when they got this”
“How did it feel to help”
You are not bragging.
You are connecting the dots between their Heart crumbs and real people.
That feeling is what makes them want to give again.
Using the Heart Jar at Home
The Heart jar is a simple way to build generosity into your family rhythm.
Here is one way to use it:
Set the expectation.
“A small part of what we get goes to help others. That is what we do in our family.”
Involve your child in filling it.
When they receive allowance, birthday money, or crumbs from chores, let them decide how much goes to Heart with your guidance.
Pick a Heart project regularly.
Once the jar has a little weight to it, work together to choose where it goes.
Celebrate the giving moment.
Take a picture, say a short prayer of thanks, or simply pause and say,
“This is a special thing we get to do.”
Over time, the Heart jar becomes more than glass and coins.
It becomes a reminder that your family is part of something bigger than itself.
Handling “But I Want That For Me” Moments
It is normal for kids to push back sometimes.
They might say:
“I do not want to give it. I want to buy something.”
Instead of forcing it, try to:
Acknowledge the feeling.
“It is okay to want things for yourself.”
Remind them of the balance.
“We can enjoy some, save some, and share some. All three matter.”
Start small.
Even a tiny amount toward Heart is a win.
You are not trying to win an argument.
You are shaping a heart over time.
Modeling Matters More Than Perfect Lessons
Kids watch what we do more than they listen to what we say.
When they see you:
Give quietly to someone who needs it.
Support a cause you care about.
Talk about why generosity matters to you.
They learn that giving is normal.
Not rare.
Not a one-time event.
Just part of how your family moves through the world.
You do not need to make a big speech about it.
A simple
“We get to help here, and that is a good thing”
is enough.
One Heart Choice at a Time
In a world that often shouts “me first,” you have the chance to grow something different at home.
You can raise kids who:
Look for needs.
Feel joy in sharing.
Believe their small gifts matter.
You do not have to be perfect with it.
You just have to be consistent.
One Heart jar.
One small choice.
One giving moment at a time.
That is how generosity stops being a lesson and starts becoming who they are.
And remember,
